I Fell In Love With My Apprentice 2: Mocking Jay
by malicent
Summary: He's in my head. He's in my dreams. I see his face everywhere... In my head and in the stony fires of reality. It mocks. It cries. The time is coming nearer, and I know I can't ignore this feeling forever.
1. Prologue

I Fell In Love With My Apprentice 2: Mocking Jay

_a/n Well here it is, everyone… the much anticipated sequal. I just decided to start it today… I suggest re reading the first book to refresh your mind on the story..._

_And I'm back on fan fiction now… I figure I might as well keep posting until I get that third strike and I'm banned for good._

_I hope you enjoy it!_

_malicent_

Some wonder if Starclan was where I went after I died. Some wonder the opposite, their minds wandering around the edges of the Dark Forest. I try not to take offense to that. I mean, it's not a sin to love someone. And if that's all I was guilty of then that will be that.

Not like it matters anymore, though.

Oh, and to answer your question, I did go to Starclan.

Guess someone out there took pity on me after all.

* * *

**Thirty six moons after the death of Darkclaw**

* * *

"Foxkit, look what I can do!" Wolfkit cried out, balancing with two legs on a small boulder.

"How did you do that?" Foxkit demanded, running over to his brother. "You have to show me how to do that right now."

"No," Wolfkit said with glee. "I learned all on my own so you have to too!"

"Don't be stubborn," Foxkit growled, bunting Wolfkit with his soft head. Foxkit gave a grunt and tumbled off the boulder. He stood up and shook the dirt off his dark yellow fur.

"I was just teasing," Foxkit mumbled. Wolfkit nuzzled him kindly. "I know," he said affectionately. Wolfkit looked down at his chest, a slight orange color. Foxkit was very similar, the only difference being his fur being a slighter shade of yellow. Both toms had subtle darker stripes.

"Kits, what are you doing?"

Foxkit and Wolfkit looked up at the same time, only to look into the eyes of their parents, Moonfeather and Lilypool. Lilypool looked tired, her brown pelt slightly matted as if she hadn't washed today. Moonfeather was quite the opposite, his pelt shiny with excessive grooming. Foxkit wondered briefly why he looked so polished.

"I was balancing on my hind legs on that rock," Wolfkit declared proudly, breaking Foxkit from his thoughts. "Foxkit wants me to show him how."

"Not really," Foxkit muttered, lowering his head. He was embarrassed that Wolfkit had mentioned something that he couldn't do so openly. To his relief, his parents didn't seem to notice.

"That's good," Lilypool said with a false excitement.

"We were thinking of going on a walk in the forest," Moonfeather said to his sons. "Want to come along? It can be a nice family outing."

"Yes," Wolfkit whispered in pure awe. "It will be our first time out of the camp!"

"Good," Moonfeather purred. Then he turned to Foxkit. "You're quiet, today." He commented. "Something wrong, Foxkit?"

"No," Foxkit mumbled. He looked over at his mother, who was looking off into the distance. Lilypools gaze lingered on a small group of cats who were being organized into a patrol.

Foxkit recognized Talonstrike, who was sitting with his back towards him. Foxkit could recognize him from his reddish brown pelt. But that wasn't who Lilypool was looking at, Foxkit felt a weird pang in his belly as he followed her gaze.

Jaystorm.

Jaystorm was one of Willowclans senior warriors, and Foxkit had only met him twice. The first was when he came into the nursery to meet him and Wolfkit for the first time. The second time was when he was playing with a pile of leaves outside in the camp. The memory burned deep into the back of Foxkits mind. Foxkit himself didn't understand why the memory was still so vivid after happening so long ago.

* * *

"_What are you doing?" Jaystorm asked as he padded up to Foxkit. Foxkit was so startled by the unexpected voice his paw slapped the leaves and sent a few flying. Jaystorm purred in amusement and shuffled them back to the pile._

"_I was building a leaf fort," Foxkit explained, pointing to the dirty pile of assorted colors. "This is the door," he jabbed a paw at the leaf that stuck out of the side. "And this is the flag," Foxkit pointed to a leaf punctured by a twig. He waited impatiently for Jaystorms reply. _

"_No, no, you're missing one thing," Jaystorm said at last. Foxkits heart thudded in a painful way. "What?"_

_Jaystorm flicked a black claw and stabbed a leaf. He then gently set it onto Foxkits soft yellow head. "You forgot the crown."_

"_Crown?" Foxkit repeated, confused._

"_For your castle," Jaystorm smiled slightly. "You are a king and the king needs a crown."_

_Foxkit beamed, looking up into Jaystorms dark blue eyes. They were full of affection, making Foxkits insides feel tingly and warm._

"_Don't let the queen take over," Jaystorm warned as he turned around to walk away. "The kingdom is only yours until someone reaches out and steals it from you."_

* * *

The memory vanished as his brother started to rustle beside him. They were getting ready to leave for the walk, and Foxkit looked at Lilypool again, wondering if she had looked away from Jaystorm. She wasn't, to Foxkits relief. Now she was furiously licking Wolfkits dusty head.

"One would think you spent all day in the dirt," she mumbled between licks. Foxkit couldn't resist taking another look over at Jaystorm. He sat tall and proud, with his four kits around him. Roseheart stood awkwardly at the side, and Foxkit felt a pang of unexpected sadness. Roseheart was the daughter who had a different mother than the rest. Foxkit never really understood how that worked.

"Why does Roseheart have a different mother?" Foxkit wondered out loud as Lilypool leaned over to groom him too. Lilypool visibly stiffened, but she kept licking like he hadn't spoken.

"I thought I've told you this," Lilypool whispered through his fur. "Several times, in fact."

Foxkit knew he had annoyed her. But the question was nagging like a burr to the pelt. "Tell me again," he pleaded. "Please."

Lilypool heaved a huge, agitated sigh before launching into the story. "Jaystorm loved a cat before Hollyfern," Lilypool started, a heavy stress over the word 'love'. "They decided to have a kit, like your father and I did, and that kit was Roseheart."

"Why did they stop loving each other?" Foxkit asked, still confused.

"It just happens, okay?" Lilypool snapped, annoyance lacing her usually gentle voice. "Stop asking about such adult things."

"Sorry," Foxkit mumbled. "Jeez."

"Let's go," Lilypool said, not meeting anyone's eyes. "It will be getting dark soon."

Moonfeather took no notice to his mates tone and rubbed against her cheek affectionately. Foxkit and Wolfkit scampered after them; Foxkits weird feeling disappeared as he ran out of the camp.

* * *

"_What do you mean, he's getting worse?" Lilypaw demanded at Rainsong, who was pacing the den. Frustration and fear rolled off her, making the air so thick it was hard to breathe._

"_Darkclaw is dying, Lilypaw," Rainsong choked, legs trembling. "There's nothing more we can do."_

"_Well, you have to!" Lilypaw screamed. She slumped to the ground, tracing a paw over Darkclaws sweat matted head. _

"_Darkclaw," she whispered miserably. "Darkclaw, please. Don't die."_

"_I can't live any longer," Darkclaw whispered, closing his eyes. "I just can't. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to see."_

"_Well, it will get better," Lilypaw sobbed. "Don't leave me, Darkclaw. What will I do without you?"_

"_You will be just fine," Darkclaw looked at her one last time, eyes clouded and gray. "You have Jaystorm. And Talonstrike. They will take care of you."_

"_NO!" Lilypaw cried, chest heaving. "You were my mentor! You're my best friend! No one can replace that."_

"_You were much more than that to me," Darkclaws voice was barely audible. "Goodbye, Lilypaw._

_I love you."_


	2. Honey Sap

I Fell In Love With My Apprentice 2: Mocking Jay

Chapter 2: Honey Sap

Jaystorm padded up to Talonstrike, shaking his head.

"What's up?" Talonstrike asked, turning around to face his friend. He raised an eyebrow as he took a look at the worn out expression on Jaystorms face. "Wow. I don't think I've ever seen you so tired."

"I look like I've been dead for a moon and a half!" Jaystorm cried out, pointing to his face with his paw. "Look at these bags under my eyes, Talonstrike. Just _look _at them!"

Talonstrike looked at the purple bags under Jaystorms eyes, the color contrasting his yellow pelt.

"Do you see them?" Jaystorm asked again when Talonstrike didn't respond. Talonstrike rolled his eyes. "It's kind of hard to miss," he said.

"Raising kits is hard, I'll tell you that," Jaystorm sighed. "Thank Starclan they're going to be warriors in the next moon here. I've been up all hours helping them train."

Talonstrike felt a rush of pride for his young friend. He was tough, and embraced the challenge of being a father head on.

"I guess they aren't kits anymore," Jaystorm corrected himself after a moment's thought. "I just don't know what else to call them. They are my kits, after all."

"Yes, they are," Talonstrike nodded his head. "They're just full grown cats preparing for their warriors ceremony."

"They grew up so fast," Jaystorm said. "I don't know where the time went."

"I wouldn't know," Talonstrike mumbled, shifting his paws. He wondered to himself if he'd ever have kits one day and quickly dismissed the thought. _After living with Jaystorm and his jumbled mess of kits and mates I don't really feel like entertaining it._

"Lilypools kits are growing fast too," Jaystorm said, his voice holding a hint of something Talonstrike didn't understand. "Every time I see them they're bigger."

"I guess," Talonstrike said. He hadn't actually spent much time with Lilypools kits, mainly because it felt weird to be around her now. _Ever since she became mates with Moonfeather and Darkclaw died._

"Hello? Did you hear what I just said?"

Talonstrike jumped. He wasn't listening at all.

Jaystorm sighed, realizing Talonstrike was off in a different world. "I _said," _he said slowly. "Lilypools been looking very upset lately."

"Why?" Talonstrike asked, knowing very well that he just opened the door for a long Lilypool discussion. Jaystorm brought Lilypool up at least once a day, and it was getting old because it was always the same old thing. _Have you noticed Lilypool has been acting strange? Have you noticed Lilypools been looking at me more lately? Do you think Lilypool still likes me? Do you think Lilypool thinks we're still friends? I miss the old days; do you think Lilypool misses the old days?_

_Did you notice Lilypool has been avoiding Moonfeather?_

_Do you think it's weird that I play with Lilypools kits?_

_Do you think things with Lilypool will ever be the same?_

_Lilypool?_

_Lilypool_

_LILYPOOL_

"So I've been wondering about Lilypool," Jaystorm started. Talonstrike rolled his eyes and braced himself for the same old questions. To his surprise, Jaystorm took an entirely different route.

"I think Lilypools kits are mine," Jaystorm said very calmly, nodding his head slowly but not making eye contact with Talonstrike. Talonstrike was so lost in his annoyed thoughts he didn't quite hear him.

"I think I must have something in my ears," Talonstrike said, scratching his right ear. "I swore you just said something really weird."

"You didn't hear me?" Jaystorm said in disbelief.

"No," Talonstrike mumbled, being honest. _I could have sworn he just said Lilypools kits are his… how ridiculous!_

"Wolfkit and Foxkit are my sons," Jaystorm said simply. Talonstrike started to choke on nothing, this new information spinning around like a hail storm.

"WHAT did you say?" he choked. He couldn't believe his ears.

"How many freaking times do I have to repeat myself?" Jaystorm snapped. "For Starclans sake, one would think you've gone deaf. Lilypools. Kits. Are. Mine."

"What the hell, Jaystorm," Talonstrike whispered, not knowing what to think. "How could you do this?"

"We love each other," Jaystorm said defensively. "Don't act like you're surprised! I tell you every day!"

"I thought you were just talking," Talonstrike wheezed. He was starting to feel sick. _This means Jaystorm has two more kits… with a third mate! _Another realization dawned over him at the same time, and he struggled to digest it.

_This also means Lilypool has been dishonest with Moonfeather… and he thinks the kits are his!_

"Stop looking so freaked out," Jaystorm hissed. "For crying out loud I thought you knew."

"No," Talonstrike puffed, looking around. Everyone else in the clearing was minding their own business. _It seems almost unreal…_

"I've been watching the kits for a while, and I've confirmed it," Jaystorm continued, ignoring Talonstrikes mini heart attack. "They look like me. No, they look _exactly _like me. And they have similar facial structures and it's just obvious."

Talonstrike was still too shocked to reply. Jaystorm took no notice and shrugged. "Not to mention we got together right before she became mates with Moonfeather. I think it's safe to say that her being pregnant right away and our little get together not even a moon before was not just a coincidence."

"What will the clan think?" Talonstrike asked at last. "And your kits? Aren't you the least bit scared of what everyone's reaction will be? And don't even get me started on what Moonfeather will do!"

"Moonfeather is an image obsessed phony," Jaystorm scoffed. "He treats those kits like the biggest pieces of prey caught in a hunting competition."

"But still," Talonstrike said feebly. "This just feels really wrong."

"WRONG!" Jaystorm burst out. Talonstrike was taken off guard by the volume from his voice, and he looked at him without saying anything.

"What's wrong is Lilypool and Moonfeather being together!" Jaystorm hissed. "It's not right, and everyone knows it! She belongs with me!"

"Then why didn't she come to you instead of Moonfeather?" Talonstrike asked, trying to rattle some sense into his old friend. "Why is she mates with him?"

"Because," Jaystorm whispered. "She doesn't think I'm reliable enough to be mates with her."

Talonstrike decided not to mention Jaystorm was the only cat the entire forest with three separate litters.

"But she's wrong," Jaystorm continued quietly. "And I think it's time for her to know that."

* * *

"Do you have to do that?" Lilypool sighed in annoyance, staring at Moonfeather. Moonfeather was grooming the fur on his head, using a honey paste to slick it all to one side.

"I just want to look my best," Moonfeather rolled his eyes. "Something you obviously don't know how to do."

Lilypool rolled her eyes, and didn't reply. Since they were alone, Moonfeather had dropped the act of the perfect mate and father. His eyes were cold, and he stared at Lilypool with disgust.

"When was the last time you've even washed?" He growled. "I can smell you from here."

"Wolfkit and Foxkit climb all over me all day with their dirty paws," Lilypool defended herself. "I don't see the point to bathe every day."

Moonfeather muttered something under his breath and continued patting his fur into place. Lilypool sighed. Moonfeather though his slicked back fur made him look handsome and rugged. Lilypool personally thought he looked like a kitten that rolled around in sap.

"No one else takes the time to look the way I do," Moonfeather exclaimed. "You should be proud you have such a clean cut cat for a mate."

Lilypool involuntarily thought of the time Jaystorm had commented on Moonfeathers fur. _"What the hell is that on your head?" _he had asked. _"It's called grooming," _Moonfeather snapped. _"Something you should try doing once in a while."_

"_I like to think I look good enough without honey smeared in my fur," _Jaystorm smiled. _"I think Lilypool does too." _And with that, he nodded and winked at Lilypool, right in front of Moonfeather. Lilypools heart started to feel all warm and fuzzy as she thought of the memory, and she started to smile as she thought of Jaystorms face.

"What are you smiling about?" Moonfeather snapped.

"I was thinking about something funny that Fuzztuft told me yesterday," Lilypool lied.

"Whatever," Moonfeather rolled his eyes darkly.

Lilypools thoughts drifted back to Jaystorm, and she looked around the clearing to see if she could spot the yellow tom cat. She spotted him way in the back of the clearing, by the apprentices den, talking to Talonstrike.

_Those two talk alone every day, _Lilypool thought.

_I wonder if they ever talk about me._

"Alright, it's time to go to the gathering," Moonfeather said. "Try to put a smile on that drab face, Lilypool."

And with that, Moonfeathers face twisted and stretched, leaving his scowl behind and replacing it with a delightful bright smile.

Lilypool had never seen anything so fake.

"Come on, darling," Moonfeather said in a cheerful voice as they came into the earshot of the other cats. "We should say goodbye to Wolfkit and Foxkit before we leave."

"Yeah," Lilypool said flatly. However, once her sons ran over, Lilypool smiled and opened her arms to hug them.

"Goodbye," Lilypool squeezed the two kits tightly, licking their soft heads. "We'll be back soon, okay!"

"We'll wait for you," Foxkit said, eyes shining.

"We want to hear all about it!" Wolfkit added. Lilypool looked into her kits eyes, and she could have sworn she could see Jaystorms smiling face in the depths of them.

_Bye, Jaystorm, _Lilypool thought to herself, staring at Jaystorm and fantasizing about having a conversation with him. _See you after the gathering._

"Let's go," Moonfeather hissed under his breath. Louder, he added in a cheerful voice. "We're going to be late!"

Lilypool looked over at Jaystorm one last time before turning to leave. He was looking right at her.

Almost as if he could hear her thoughts.


	3. Only if for a Night

I Fell In Love With My Apprentice 2: Mocking Jay

Chapter 3: Only if for a Night

The gathering passed in a haze of irritation. Lilypool angrily scratched her ear for what seemed to be the millionth time, glaring at Moonfeather as he did so.

_Freaking cat's attracting every bug in the forest._

However, despite the bugs that were wandering around Moonfeathers honey slicked fur; he sat tall with his eyes staring straight ahead. Lilypool shuddered as she saw a bug disappear through his fur and into his skin.

"I pronounce the gathering over!" Leafstar, Willowclans leader called out. She looked up at the full moon before turning to jump off the rock.

"Let's go," Moonfeather said at once. Lilypool stiffened, angered at how aggressively he spoke to her.

"I wanted to stay and mingle with the others," Lilypool protested, not meeting his eyes. "I only see the other clans once a moon."

"What do you care about the other clans?" Moonfeather snapped, spitting on the ground. "What are you going to even do? Parade up to Greenclan and strike up a cheerful conversation?"

"Well, maybe not Greenclan," Lilypool mumbled. She flashed a glance over to where Jaystorm and Talonstrike were sitting. _I wish they would come talk to me._

Lilypool desperately missed her friendships with the two tom cats, and how they used to spend every waking moment together.

_When Darkclaw was alive, we were inseparable, _Lilypool thought miserably. _Now I'm lucky to even get a quick hello once a moon._

"Come on!" Moonfeather cried. "Stop staring into space!"

Lilypool shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Coming," she whispered. As Moonfeather turned away, Lilypool gave one last longing glance at Jaystorm.

_See you back at camp, _she thought, pretending that he could hear her. She stared at him for a second more, then turned and sadly followed Moonfeather back to the trail.

…

"I wish we were made warriors today!" Lionpaw growled, tearing up the grass in frustration. "Then we could have impressed everyone!"

"Chill," Mintpaw said, rolling her eyes slightly. "It'll happen any day now. And we will probably attend a billion more gatherings before we go to the elders den."

"It just would have been cool if we could go to the gathering the day we became warriors," Lionpaw replied. "I don't think it's happened before and we would have been remembered for it."

"Gingertail told me the assessment would be in a few days," Petalpaw added, her quiet voice unusually clear. "We just have to be patient."

"Yeah, well Amberpelt told me that the assessment would be before the gathering," Lionpaw grumbled. "And did that happen? Nope."

Mintpaw remained quiet when her brother and sister started talking about their mentors. She always felt left out. Lionpaw and Petalpaw had gotten Gingertail and Amberpelt for mentors, and they did everything together because the older warriors were best friends. Mintpaw had gotten Moonfeather for a mentor. Moonfeather usually would separate her apprentice training away from her siblings, because he said she needed to branch out from them. Mintpaw knew the excuse was rubbish. It was no secret Gingertail and Amberpelt made fun of Moonfeather when they were younger.

_They were in the fearsome four, _Mintpaw thought dreamily, forgetting about Moonfeather for a moment. _Just like my dad! _

The fearsome four was a group of cats that broke up before Mintpaw was born, consisting of Darkclaw, Talonstrike, Amberpelt and Gingertail. She had heard countless stories about them, and she wished that she could be in an exclusive group like they were. _Well, I guess Amberpelt and Gingertail weren't in it forever, _Mintpaw thought to herself. _They were kicked out for being too mean to others… and Lilypool and Jaystorm were invited in!_

"I wish Moonfeather would participate in more training exercises with us," Lionpaw said, shattering Mintpaws thoughts. "It seems like he's always pulling you away from everyone."

"That's because he _does!" _Mintpaw couldn't control the way the words burst out of her mouth. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "I swear to Starclan, whenever there's an opportunity for us to hunt or train of even go on a _border patrol, _he just won't."

"Yeah, I don't get it," Petalpaw said. "Gingertail doesn't have a problem with him."

"Amberpelt doesn't either," Lionpaw added.

"Weird," Mintpaw mumbled. She had a strange feeling, but she couldn't place it.

"Wow, look at Lilypool," Lionpaw suddenly smirked. Mintpaw pushed her thoughts about her mentor away and looked up to see what Lionpaw was talking about.

"What's she looking at?" Mintpaw asked, confused. Lilypool had her head twisted around on her shoulders, staring at something.

"What does she ever look at?" Petalpaw scoffed, her tone slightly sarcastic.

"Dad," Lionpaw whispered when Mintpaw remained blank.

"Oh," Mintpaw mumbled, feeling silly. _I should have figured that out myself. _

"She's so obvious with her staring," Petalpaw said. "I don't know how it doesn't burn a hole in the back of his skull."

"What I'm confused about is how Moonfeathers not catching on," Mintpaw exclaimed. "It's almost as if he doesn't know she's there."

…

"_Oh, Lilypool. I didn't see you standing there."_

_Lilypool jumped, surprised to hear a voice at this time of night. She quickly wiped the tears that stained her cheeks, and turned to face the familiar figure standing behind her._

"_Jaystorm," Lilypool winced as her voice cracked. "What are you doing out here?"_

"_I was about to ask you the same thing," Jaystorm smiled. Then he got a funny look on his face. "Remember the time we got caught hiding in the bushes by Darkclaw?" _

_Lilypool thought of her cherished memory with her friends and struggled not to start crying again. "Of course I remember," she said, voice wobbling._

"_It reminds me of right now," Jaystorm said. Then after a moment's hesitation he added, "Well, I guess Darkclaws not here to break us up this time."_

"_How could you say that?" Lilypool snapped, feeling a sudden anger at Jaystorm making light of a deceased friend. "He's dead."_

"_I know," Jaystorm nodded slowly. "And I bet he's watching right now, happy that I'm still doing okay even though we lost him."_

"_Yeah," Lilypool whispered. Jaystorm stared at her for a moment, and Lilypool realized he had figured out she had been crying before he showed up._

"_Oh, what's wrong?" Jaystorm asked, gently touching Lilypools shoulder with a paw. Lilypaw recoiled back at once, his touch was like a spark hitting a pile of dead leaves._

_It made her fur burn on fire._

"_Sorry," Jaystorm mumbled, looking down. "My paws get full of static for no reason sometimes."_

"_It's fine," Lilypool said._

"_Why are you so upset?" Jaystorm pressed. "I didn't mean to make you sad about talking about Darkclaw, I'm sorry."_

"_It wasn't Darkclaw I was crying about," Lilypool replied. "Well, of course I'm sad about him being dead. He just wasn't on my mind until you brought him up."_

"_Oh," Jaystorm said, thinking this over. "So what were you so sad about?"_

"_I just hate the way things are now!" Lilypool cried out. "I hate the way Darkclaws dead… and I hate the way I miss your friendship."_

"_Awe," Jaystorm said softly. "We're still friends, Lilypool."_

"_No," Lilypool said miserably. "Friends spend time together, and share things."_

"_We are right now," Jaystorm said, trying not to smile._

"_This is the first time we've spoken in moons," Lilypool whispered. "I feel like I've lost you and Talonstrike. All I'm left with is Moonfeather."_

"_Is that anyway to talk about your mate?" Jaystorm crowed. Lilypool struggled not to smile at his delighted tone. It lasted for a second, and then vanished. Lilypool started to frown from sadness._

"_What?" Jaystorm asked, face turning concerned. "He's not hurting you, is he?"_

"_No," Lilypool mumbled. Jaystorms ear flicked. "Then what's the problem?"_

"_The problem is I have no idea what the hell I'm doing!" Lilypool cried. "I thought it would be a healthy choice for me… and for you."_

"_For me?" Jaystorm repeated, confused. "Need I remind you Lilypool, we were mates once."_

"_Yeah, before you had another kit to raise," Lilypool whispered, thinking of Jaystorms other daughter, Roseheart. "We couldn't have been mates at that time… you had four young cats to care for. To still care for!"_

"_And me being with you would have hurt that," Jaystorm said quietly. "I know."_

"_I thought this would be easier," Lilypool confessed. "But it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I can't go a minute without thinking of you."_

_Jaystorm stared at her, eyes square. "I can't go one second, Lilypool," he said slowly. "Without thinking of you."_

_Lilypool leaned forward and brushed her cheek with his. Her pelt burned with happiness and guilt, but she didn't care that she was being unfaithful. _

"_I still need you," Lilypool said, breathing in his scent. "You're all I ever want."_

"_Ditch Moonfeather," Jaystorm said into her fur. "Come be with me. You know you want to. You've always wanted to."_

"_I know," Lilypool replied. "And I've tried. But he just won't listen."_

"_Make him listen," Jaystorm whispered._

"_Ever since his dad died he won't accept the fact that I want out," Lilypool said truthfully. "He knows I don't love him. He just doesn't want anyone to know."_

"_Yeah," Lilypool said, feeling her heart beat against her chest. "Yeah."_

"_Yeah?" Jaystorm said playfully. He narrowed his eyes, and Lilypool knew it was an unspoken question._

"_We'll wait until your kits become warriors," Lilypool decided, a pang of pain hitting her as she realized that would be quite a few moons. "And then we'll be mates."_

"_Well what if I want to be mates right now?" Jaystorm said, pushing her over gently. Lilypool stared at him, and a strange feeling flooded through her. It felt as though she was standing under and invisible rock, with a waterfall beating down on it. _

"_Tonight, we'll be mates," Lilypool breathed as Jaystorm gently climbed over her. "And then we'll wait. Promise me you'll wait!"_

"_I promise."_

_Lilypool didn't respond. She felt as though the moon was under her skin. Like neon lights, under the earth._

_Like a million hours crushed into one. _

_Like an unreal dream, Lilypool could barely believe it was real._

_Only if for a night_


	4. The Disturbing Truth

I Fell In Love With My Apprentice 2: Mocking Jay

Chapter 4: The Disturbing Truth

_A Poem by Moonfeather_

_Her eyes were shining_

_Green sparks burst into flame_

_Her pelt was quivering guilty_

_With lies, deceit and shame_

_She was gone all night_

_But she still tried to creep_

_Into the space beside me, _

_While I pretended to sleep_

* * *

Lilypool yawned, eyes drooping with exhaustion. Beside her, Foxkit and Wolfkit were tumbling around, with an insane amount of energy. Lilypool grunted as a leg kicked her belly.

"Careful!" Lilypool said to both kits, not sure who jabbed her.

"Sorry," Foxkits tiny voice mumbled. Lilypool smiled through her yawns and gave him a loving pat on the head.

It was nearly time to wake up, the sun was just starting to peek through the trees and Lilypool could smell the crisp morning air. She tried not to scowl and smiled at her sons, wishing with all her heart for them to sleep. Foxkit had had a nightmare, and howled until Moonfeather tended to him. This led to Wolfkit waking up as well. Lilypool remembered angrily at how Moonfeather had woken her up to soothe the kits, saying that she was the mother and he needed to do other fatherly things. Then he vanished somewhere and Lilypool hadn't seen him since.

"Kits," Lilypool took a deep breathe, feeling very old and battered. Foxkit stopped pummeling Wolfkit to look up at his mother with wide awake eyes.

"It's time to rest," Lilypool said in a calming voice, gently patting a spot beside her. "Come and sleep so you'll be rested for the morning."

"But we're not tired," Wolfkit pointed out.

"I'm sure if you lie down you'll be asleep in no time," Lilypool said, voice stern. She patted the spot. "Now go to sleep."

Foxkit and Wolfkit exchanged a sad look and slumped down, making a big point of sighing loudly.

"Now close your eyes," Lilypool whispered, eyelids drooping shut. She took a deep breath of peaceful silence. "And go… to… sleep…"

Lilypool was relieved as the kits hearts started to slow down, and they curled up in the curve of her belly. She was half asleep within seconds, but just as she was about to nod off for good, she felt a paw wiggling.

There was a bit of shuffling around, and just as Lilypool began to ignore it, Foxkit exploded into the air.

"SHADOWCLAN IS ATTACKING!" he howled at the top of his lungs. At once, Wolfkit burst up and started to jump around, trying to catch his brother. Both the kits were shrieking with delight and crashing into every wall of the den.

Lilypool stared blankly at the roof of the den for half a second before shoving her tired bones into gear.

_It was nice while it lasted, _she thought to herself. Foxkit leaped onto Lilypools belly, smiling and playfully battering his tail on her.

Lilypool felt a rush of love for her sons and she nuzzled his head. Foxkit bit her ear with glee.

"We have to hide from Shadowclan!" Lilypool announced, wondering dimly if they had woken up the entire camp yet. Foxkit and Wolfkit cried with excitement that Lilypool was playing along, and they dived behind her.

"Stay very still," Lilypool pretended. "They might not hear us."

Foxkit and Wolfkit went deathly silent, the only noise they made was from their breathing. Lilypool waited a solid ten seconds before leaping into the air.

"THEY FOUND US!" she cried. "Everyone out, now!"

Foxkit and Wolfkit screamed and crashed out of the den, taking out a big chunk of the wall as they did so. Lilypool was just rearing to jump out after them when a disgusted face appeared in the entrance. Lilypool shrieked, completely surprised when she realized it was Talonstrike.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" he hissed.

Lilypool was still paralyzed from the fact that he was actually talking to her. She shrugged her shoulders, hoping he'd stop scowling.

"It's barely sun high," Talonstrike continued. "And you've managed to wake every single cat in the camp. For Starclans sake, Lilypool! It's so early the dawn patrol isn't even assembled yet!"

"I'm sorry," Lilypool mumbled, embarrassed that he was treating her like a little kit.

"You have the entire nursery to play with them in," Talonstrike said. "That's plenty of room for them to run around."

Lilypool thought about the way Foxkit and Wolfkit were crashing around and struggled not to shoot back a retort. _He seems to forget that they are growing very fast. They barely even fit in the nursery with me!_

Talonstrike suddenly got a strange look on his face, as if he had realized he was upsetting her.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I know you're doing your best. I'm just really grumpy when I'm tired."

"I'll try to keep them at a dull roar," Lilypool joked. Talonstrikes whiskers twitched, as if he was holding back a laugh.

"See you later," he said, then turned away and walked back to the warriors den. Lilypool nearly died from anxiety. _He actually talked to me! After all these moons, we finally had a conversation!_

"What are you doing?" Foxkit demanded, stomping over to Lilypool. "You can't just pretend to be running away from Shadowclan and then just sit there with your eyes glazed over."

"Sorry, I was talking to Talonstrike," Lilypool said, feeling bad for abandoning their game. "He was telling me that we were being too loud."

"Aw," Wolfkit mumbled. "But we were having so much fun."

"You should have asked him to join in!" Foxkit cried.

"I don't think he would have wanted too," Lilypool explained. "He looked pretty tired."

"Can we go wake up Jaystorm?" Foxkit asked. Lilypool nearly choked on her tongue. "What?" she stammered. "Why Jaystorm?"

"Because he always plays with us," Wolfkit explained. "We play this really fun game where he pretends to be a rock and we jump on him until he falls over."

Lilypool felt very anxious, her paws clammy. _I haven't talked to him since that one night so many moons ago. I had no idea he played with my kits. _

_Our kits_

"Jaystorm is like, the coolest cat ever," Foxkit said. "He told me if I continue to have yellow fur, I'll pick up a mate in no time."

Lilypool wanted to smile hugely and roll her eyes and hiss at the same time. _Figures he'd say that, since Foxkits pelt is the exact same color as his. _

"You can't just go changing the color of your fur anyway," Lilypool said, staring at a small rock on the dirt floor. "And you shouldn't be thinking of mates until you're way older."

"Moonfeather says we should wait until we're senior warriors," Wolfkit explained to his brother.

"Good," Lilypool mumbled, sidetracked as she thought of her mate.

_Where is he, anyway? _

* * *

"So where are these berries that Rainsong told you to find?" Jaystorm asked, looking around in the gloom. All he could see was rotten undergrowth and overgrown ferns. Beside him, Moonfeather tensed up.

"They should be coming up soon," he said curtly, not meeting Jaystorms eyes.

"Uh, okay," Jaystorm said, turning to look around again. He wondered for the millionth time why Moonfeather had chosen him for this expedition. _We're not friends at all, so why didn't he pick someone else?_

"So how are things going with you and Lilypool?" Jaystorm asked, trying to make conversation.

Moonfeather just grunted. Jaystorm sighed and gave up.

"I see some orange berries over here," Jaystorm said suddenly. "You said they were orange, right?"

"I think so," Moonfeather said.

"What do you mean, _you think so?" _Jaystorm cried. "This is important stuff! We don't want to accidentally bring back any death berries."

"I think we got the right bush," Moonfeather said after examining a wilted berry with a paw. "These look great."

"Alright," Jaystorm said. He began scooping pawfuls of the orange berries onto the ground.

"So," Moonfeather said slowly. "You sound like quite the busy guy. Four kits, that's a lot of responsibility."

"Yeah, well, it's easier now that they're older," Jaystorm said, wondering why he was bringing this up. He was starting to get a weird feeling crawling around the edge of his belly.

"Thinking of having any more?" Moonfeather asked, staring him square in the eye. Jaystorm shuffled the berries off the branch faster, not looking up. _I have a bad feeling where this is going._

"Probably not," he said at last.

"I see," Moonfeather replied.

"I'm done," Jaystorm said, patting all his berries into a pile. "We can go back now."

"My kits with Lilypool, it's the funniest story," Moonfeather said dryly, making no effort to get up.

"I don't really need to hear about your personal business," Jaystorm was starting to panic, knowing exactly where Moonfeather was going with this.

_How does he know?_

"I want you to hear it," Moonfeather hissed. Jaystorm stared at him, wondering what he was going to say.

"Lilypool got pregnant," Moonfeather said. "That's the funny part about the whole thing."

Now Jaystorm was confused. _How in any way is that funny?_

"She got pregnant," Moonfeather repeated. "And we never mated. Do you have anything you'd like to say?"

"Define… mating," Jaystorm stalled. Moonfeather hissed and smacked the pile of orange berries hard with a paw.

"I know you're the father," Moonfeather whispered. "I've known this whole time."

Jaystorm didn't know what to say. He wanted to apologize, but the words wouldn't come out.

"I'm sorry," he finally choked out. "It happened because I-"

"I don't want to hear your shitty excuses," Moonfeather swore. He glared with hatred at Jaystorm.

"I'm sorry," Jaystorm said quietly. "We never meant to hurt you."

"Then prove you're sorry," Moonfeather said slowly. He pushed the berries towards Jaystorm. "Go on," he said, face twitching slightly. "Eat up."

Jaystorm leaned down and sniffed the berries, getting very suspicious. After a long look at them, he came to the conclusion that they were poisonous.

"I'm not going to eat death berries," Jaystorm said at last. "That's pretty harsh."

"They aren't death berries, you blithering fool," Moonfeather spat. "Death berries are as red as blood. These, I like to call torture-berries."

"Torture-berries?" Jaystorm yelped. "Why would you call them that?"

"Because their juices are clear," Moonfeather whispered. "No one would ever know if I squirted one or two or six onto their fresh kill."

Jaystorm was at a loss for words. _He's gone completely mad._

"So once you eat the fresh kill, soaked in this clear, tasteless juice," Moonfeather continued. "You will become very ill. So ill in fact, that you end up dying a moon later."

"You're crazy," Jaystorm snapped, standing up. "I don't need to listen to this. You won't kill me, you're just mad I get more action with your mate than you do."

"I'm not CRAZY!" Moonfeather stood up, trembling. His voice echoed off the trees.

"You just threatened to kill me with a slow killing berry," Jaystorm hissed. "That screams crazy in that one sentence."

"It wasn't so crazy when it killed Darkclaw."

Jaystorm stopped dead.

"What, did you say?" he whispered, turning around slowly. He stared at Moonfeathers bloodshot eyes.

"I killed him," Moonfeather repeated. "I killed him with these berries. And you think I'm crazy, how silly!"

The disturbed way in which Moonfeather spoke made eyes twitch as though he had a bug in them.

"You killed my best friend," Jaystorm repeated. "Darkclaws death… was caused by YOU?"

"Guilty!" Moonfeather chuckled darkly, and stared at him.

"You're sick," Jaystorm gulped, getting very frightened. He started to back up, preparing to run away.

"Maybe so," Moonfeather sighed. "But not as sick as you're going to be when you eat these."

"You fucking idiot, I'm not going to eat them!" Jaystorm hissed.

"Okay," Moonfeather shrugged. "I guess I'll just have to mix them in with Lilypools next meal."

Jaystorms blood ran cold again, and he stared at the deranged cat in front of him. "You wouldn't," he started.

"Watch me," Moonfeather smiled. "And after I'm done with her, I'll give some to Foxkit and Wolfkit. I'll tell them it's a magical treat or something. They'll eat loads of them!"

"Are you insane?" Jaystorm choked. "You'd poison your own kits?"

"They aren't my kits," Moonfeather hissed. "They're _yours."_

They stood staring at each other for several heartbeats before Moonfeathers spoke again.

"You brought those kits into the world so effortlessly with my mate," Moonfeather said, spearing a orange berry with a claw. "And I can take them away just as easily."

"How do I know you're not going to kill them after I eat the berries?" Jaystorm whispered at last.

"You'll never know," Moonfeather shrugged. "You'll be dead. The choice is yours. Die now, or watch everything you love die first."

Jaystorm was feeling very scared. He couldn't speak.

Moonfeather placed his speared berry on the ground in front of Jaystorm.

"The choice is yours."


End file.
